Eating Your Own Cum To Show Submission

For some men, the act of eating their own cum is easy, they do it every time they orgasm, it’s no big deal- they even like the taste- but for others it’s an ordeal, making a ten year old eat their vegetables is easier. Whether you love to do it or not, it is considered an extremely submissive act.

Why is eating your own cum such a submissive act?

Role Reversal

One of the reasons I believe dominant women love having subs clean up after themselves is the role reversal involved, at least the stereotypical roles. When he eats his own cum, it’s sort of a taste of his own medicine, so to speak. Some men expect women to swallow their partner’s cum (which is considered a submissive act by some, I think), so why shouldn’t the submissive male eat his own cum?

Because eating cum is hard

Many men, more than you’d think, would like to eat their own cum, or at least try it, yet they never do.This is because of the refractory period. After an orgasm, guys generally, temporarily, lose interest in sex immediately, thus making the thought of putting cum-to-lips repulsive, even though he desperately wanted to just a second ago. So if a man can overcome his urge to wipe it away and watch Letterman, then it is a true act of submission. He really doesn’t want to but he does it anyway, for her. Pretty hot.

Eating your own cum can be humiliating

Eating your own cum can be humiliating. I don’t actually think the act of eating your own cum itself is humiliating at all, if anything it’s extremely sensual, but it can be made humiliating. Which is a lot of fun for some people. It’s becoming increasingly common to have online subs give themselves self facials, i.e throwing your legs over your head and cumming all over your own face and mouth (or in the eye ;) ). I’ve seen lots of other brilliant ideas designed to humiliate online subs with their own cum:

  • Cum in an ice cube tray, freeze it and you have a cum cube to either; suck on, put in a drink or stick up your ass.
  • Cum into your morning coffee, it makes a nice replacement for milk- apparently *cough*
  • Cum into food, perhaps a sandwich, wrap it up and take your packed lunch to work.
  • Stick a funnel in your mouth, fling your legs over your head and masturbate into the funnel.

For more humiliating ideas, see my humiliation task megalist

So eating your own cum is definitely a submissive act. Do you have your subs eat their own cum? If you are a submissive guy, have you tried, do you gobble it up and do you enjoy it? Leave a comment below. 

How To Serve An Online Domme

If you are genuine sub and want to serve a Mistress online, then you will probably wonder at some point, how the hell can I do that? If you were with her in real life, then you could do lots of stuff to make her life easier (cleanin n shit!). Online though, it’s more difficult to be of use, but it’s not impossible to serve a Domme online.

Btw-the term Domme, is not exclusive to Professional Dominatrixes. If you’re having trouble finding a lifestyle Domme or just a dominant chick, then this post should help- How to Find an Online Mistress.

What is Service?Definition of service (how to serve an online domme)

Basically anything that actually helps her. It’s simple. I’m more interested in what service is not though. It’s not play. You’re not actually serving her when you stick a carrot up your ass on Skype. If that’s all you’re interested in doing, then you better stick to paying for sessions with Pros (absolutely nothing wrong with that btw!). She might find it funny, sexy and she may even get off on it, but it’s still just doing the cyber nasty. Which I suppose could be thought of as a service, since you got her off, but every online Domme has hundreds of guys, many better looking than yourself, offering to shove carrots up their asses for her every day. So it’s not really service.

How to Serve an Online Domme

With your money

I know!!! Stop pulling your hair out, it’ll be ok. It’s not what you wanted to hear, I’m aware of that. But it’s true, if you can’t clean her place from 5000 miles away, maybe you can pay for a cleaner. It does make her life easier. It’s not financial domination!!! It’s just like paying for dinner. Chivalry is not dead within Femdom relationships, subs pick up the check. To be clear, I’m not saying you should be sending money at the start of your first conversation to any Domme, unless it’s a Pro, then she’s running a business. You shouldn’t even see this as an obligation. I’m not talking about paying her per the hour here or even a once a month payment, just simple stuff, people take for granted in real life. If you’re in a relationship with someone, you buy them a birthday present, you do Valentines day, you buy drinks at the bar etc…

With that said, not every dominant woman will even take your money online. It isn’t the only way to serve someone.

Web Slave

Isn’t everyone offering to be a web design slave these days? It seems like they are. But if you are a genuinely skilled web designer then this a legitimate service you can offer to someone. Show her previous work etc though, as Dommes get these offers daily. This is actually a great way to serve a domme online, because a true quality web design service will set you back hundreds of $£€. Offer to pay the hosting costs as well and you’re doing good. That’s like $5/month, if you’re not willing to spend that on someone you want a relationship with, you’re just taking the piss.

If she’s in college or has other work you can help with, you could always go down the homework slave route. As long as you can actually help.

Poetry/Stories/Draw etc

This is actually a fantastic way to grab someone’s attention. A well written poem, which isn’t creepy, will make any girl feel awesome. Just avoid the major cliches (Roses are red, violets are violet…). Everyone loves to feel like the most special person in the world. If you make someone feel that way, then you are serving them. I don’t care what anyone else says.

Being Relationship Material

If you’re a nice person, have a great sense of humour, are a great listener (all the normal stuff for a relationship) then you’ll attract dominant women. If she loves talking to you at the end of a long day, that’s a service, right?

Send her a dick picture

All dominant women really enjoy seeing pictures of dicks in their inbox. So be of service and send as many as you can.

bazinga_by_trickd123-d38ivc8

Don’t send dick pics to people, that was a joke. Unsolicited dick pics are bang out of order, but that’s for another blog post

Conclusion

So, how can you serve an online Domme? Try and do everything you can to make her life easier, effectively. Or you can always just ask how you can serve her.  If none of this sounds appealing to you, perhaps you are only submissive in the bedroom, in which case finding an online partner (without going pro) is tough, so you might want to head out into the real world of kinky munches and fetish clubs etc… But if genuine service is your game, opportunities are out there. I once put a page up on this website, offering my services as a web slave. I got 10 emails per day (doing my little bragging dance just now).

Tell me I’m right/wrong below in the comment section :-)

Similar Posts

I took inspiration (well, she wrote it first!) from an article on The Dr Sue Review, which is a really great website. Here is the article- How to Serve an Online Domme 

Another post which took a similar view as Dr Sue is How to properly serve an ONLINE Domme by Goddess Genevieve, who also has a fun insightful blog.

How Secure Are Chastity Devices?

When you first start fantasising about wearing a chastity belt, not once does the thought that they won’t actually do their job creep into your head. It’s only once you start researching, hi there, that you find out you will probably be able to escape. I’ll summarise this post before I even really get started; if you want to get out of your chastity belt badly enough, you will be able to. Forced chastity doesn’t exist. You can get pretty close though.

Escaping from your device is easy

If you want out of your chastity device badly enough, nothing will stop you. If you’re wearing a simple ball trapped device, such as the CB6000* – which is a great beginner device- there’s a good chance you’ll be able to slip your self out with relative ease. If you have the ring/spacer configuration setup perfectly and pull out seems impossible, it will still be achievable with some soap and water. If you are wearing a typically more secure belt, a pair of bolt cutters will still make mince meat of a padlock or the actual device itself.

Security isn’t that important

The security of a device is actually not the most important factor (comfort is), as you can always defeat it, somehow. I like to think of a chastity device as more of a barrier, a reminder and a mark of ownership. If someone locks you up, they symbolically own your cock, which is incredibly hot. But you have to crave the ownership. There is still a huge amount of willpower required to wear a chastity device. With that said, there is a couple of ways to make a device more secure, to the point, that it would require a good bit of effort to take it off, which is more than enough for most people.

Penis Piercings

If you have a piercing, such as a Prince Albert (PA) or a frenum piercing, then you are able to make a chastity device very secure. Since you can connect the piercing to the chastity device, pull out becomes impossible.

This means the only way of removing the device is by cutting the padlock, therefore if you do escape, your keyholder will know when her key doesn’t fit the replacement padlock you bought. This method, in my opinion, is the best option. You don’t have to wear a heavy full chastity belt to prevent pull out, so the device is easier to conceal and likely significantly cheaper. Most of these devices are custom built, such as Lori’s Secure Chastity Devices. Custom devices are great but not for first devices. A cheaper, yet safe and well known, chastity device which requires a PA piercing is the PA5000* (by the same makers as the CB6000).

Anti Pull Out Device

If you have a CB6000 or CB6000s, then you can add the KSD-G3 (no idea what that stands for) to the device. It is effectively a rubber insert that narrows the tube and massively increases friction if you attempt to pull out your penis.anti pull out device- cb6000, cb6000s increase chastity device security It should make it impossible/very sore to pull out. I have heard mixed reviews though, some love it and it gives others nasty bruises (especially if you’re a grower, not a shower). You can buy that here.

 

Steel Custom Belts

A full chastity belt is a very expensive investment, generally, but if you do go down this route, then you will find them relatively secure.

Having never worn one, I can’t comment on whether pull out is possible, but I highly doubt it with most belts, if they fit correctly. You can still cut the padlocks and break the belt if you want but that is really the only way to escape. They also look really awesome, if inconvenient.

The most secure chastity device I’ve seen

This is a video of a guy covering the locks of his chastity device with epoxy. Meaning his only method of escape is cutting the device off. I believe the device he is wearing is worth about $500, so not a decision to take lightly. I found it through Kept Chaste- Where you come not to cum.

Summary

So it’s impossible to make a chastity device completely inescapable. Security is something you should still look for though, because the easier it is, the more tempting it will be. You can get locked in a device and the only way to have it removed will mean your keyholder will find out, so that is considered completely secure for most people. I only say that a chastity device can’t be completely secure because some people have the fantasy of never being released and having no choice in the matter. You always have a choice.

Good First Chastity Device- A Guide to Buying

A good first chastity device? There’s hundreds of different answers to that question, but here’s my answer. Remember, it’s just that, mine. Orgasm denial and chastity play are so much fun and you’ll have a great time. When you’re thinking with your other head though, you can be rash, stupid and end up wasting a lot of money. I’m a perfect example, so listen up. There is so many chastity devices and chastity belts available on the market that it’s confusing for a newcomer. Which one should you buy? Lets start with what you should avoid:

A good first chastity device is not..

Not a cheap Chinese knock off

This basically rules out any chastity device or belt that costs under $100/£100. I’m losing you just now aren’t I? Hang on for a second though. Occasionally people get really lucky with these devices; they fit perfect and form well with their body. However for most people the fit will be poor, and you’ll end up with cuts, nicks and bruises from the damn thing. You get what you pay for in this world and when you’re locking something around your junk, you want to know you won’t get hurt. Another reason to avoid the cheap Chinese chastity devices is the lack of customisation. You need to make adjustments to your first device, which leads us to…

Not a Custom Steel Chastity Device

Custom chastity devices are expensive, as they’re hand made, so they don’t make ideal first devices considering you don’t yet know if you’ll enjoy walking about stuck in a penis prison. For some people, wearing a chastity belt is not a realistic option unfortunately. You’ll probably only fully realise this, or accept it, once you’ve tried wearing one. For example, if you work in an airport, you’ll need to be careful not to set off metal detectors unless you’re seriously into public humiliation.

Custom chastity devices are also custom, so they’re made to fit your measurements. The problem is, you don’t know what your ideal measurements are. Even if you miraculously got them correct, they’ll change over time. This is because when you first put a ball trapped device on (a chastity device that has a ring which goes around your sack), you will slowly stretch your scrotum, thus requiring you to wear a smaller ring to keep the device secure.

A good first chastity device is…

Customisable

As we’ve just established, you need to be able to make adjustments when you first start wearing a chastity device.

Not too Expensive

At the end of the day, you’re not making a lifestyle choice yet, so you have no reason to spend thousands on a top notch bespoke chastity belt. Try a cheaper device and see if you like it first, then move on. Nearly everyone who has an expensive custom belt started with lower end devices and have since upgraded. Lots also never move on because they are perfectly happy.

Comfort

In my opinion this is the most important feature of a chastity device. You shouldn’t get cuts and sores etc. Where is the fun in that?

Recommended Devices

Guide to Buying A Good First Chastity Device (Chastity belt)

I’m going to recommend the CB range of toys as a good first chastity device. They’re made of moulded polycarbonate, they’re HIGHLY customisable and they’re relatively cheap.

CB6000s

If your penis is less than 3.5 inches when at its very very smallest, be honest as the length of the cage you choose is very important, you should get the CB6000s. If you look at the image above, you’ll notice that it says the cage length is 2 1/2″ in length. This isn’t the final length because it doesn’t include the added length of the back ring, which goes around your scrotum. If you can comfortably get into this device, then you should get this one. Don’t get hung up on being macho- you’re about to put your dick in a fucking cage!

Purchase: CB6000s in the US* | CB6000s in the UK*

CB3000

I don’t believe you can buy the CB3000 anymore (It’s just a good image above, so I wanted to use it :p)

CB6000

If you’re a shower rather than a grower you will want to get the CB6000. This is probably the most popular chastity device in the world, with the smaller version quickly catching up.

Purchase: CB6000 in the US* | CB6000 in the UK*

The Curve

Now, if you are a big guy, you will want to get The Curve. If you think you can get into the CB6000 I would opt for that device, because the Curve will be more difficult to hide under clothing.

Purchase: The Curve in the US* | The Curve in the UK*

Device Reviews (external links)

I advise you read these. The more information you soak up the better chance you have at picking up a good first chastity device.

CB6000/CB6000s review
The Curve Chastity Device Review

Read another post: Blue balls- the curse of orgasm denial

Blue Balls- The Curse of Orgasm Denial

My journey into the world of kink began with tease and denial. Nothing major at first, just playful fun with a girlfriend. Then when I started searching for kinky stuff online, my liking for TnD developed into an orgasm denial fetish. When you are used to daily gratification, extended periods of denial (with a healthy dollop of teasing for good measure) can really take its toll on a guy, both physically and mentally. I can cope with the mental side without a problem, in fact I get off on the frustration, which in turn makes me more horny and creates a fantastic, agonising cycle of tears and lust. The physical side is always where I struggle. I’m talking of course about the dreaded blue balls.

What are blue balls?

Blue balls are sometimes thought of as a myth but I can assure you, they exist. It’s a slang term- obviously, because if parts start turning blue go to A&E- for epididymal hypertension. When a guy gets sexually aroused more blood than usual flows into the groin region and causes dilation of blood vessels (they stretch beyond normal), thus causing an erection. At this time, the veins that carry blood away from the groin region tighten and constrict preventing blood from flowing away, so that an erection can be maintained. This is known as vasocongestion, for any aspiring medics out there. The same process that causes an erection also happens in your testicles simultaneously. Now if an orgasm does not occur, wohoo, then this process will continue instead of returning to normal. This is when blue balls occur. This doesn’t effect every man. Source.

Layman’s definition- You build up the pressure but there’s no release, causing pain. 

What do blue balls feel like?

I assume the sensation is different for every man, but I experience quite painful blue balls. The testicles become VERY sensitive to touch and feel extremely heavy. Depending on the severity of the blue balls (more teasing causes worse blue balls) it can be pretty painful to walk.

Blue balls, orgasm denial, chastity

She’s not sorry!

You can also feel quite tight, sort of like a mild cramp, in the lower abdomen. It also effects your prostate slightly which is a difficult sensation to describe. I’d say it feels like you need to go to the loo to do a two, but in a different, higher position. It’s weird but not painful at all, at least for me. It should be noted at this point that I am a total wimp when it comes to pain tolerance.

Do you get blue balls whenever you are denied orgasms?

This is a question I can only answer for myself. The first three days without orgasm are generally hell for me. The pain goes away when I sleep but returns the next day as soon as I get horny. But after a few days I seem to either get used to the pain or it goes away. Once you have passed this point in your denial journey you can really start to enjoy it. So make sure you push beyond the pain, as there is a lot of fun on the other side.

Are blue balls dangerous?

No, not a all. There is no reason to ever allow an orgasm, or give up on your self denial because of blue balls. Nobody has ever been rushed to hospital with a bad case of blue balls.

How do you ease the pain?

“Just bust a nut bro”

If you do a quick Google search, most people recommend orgasming. That’s a great answer and you can’t really argue with their logic. They don’t know you’re not allowed.

Here’s what’s worked for me:

  • Sleep- this is the next best cure after an orgasm. When you sleep, you relax, and everything returns to normal down there.
  • Lying down- this helps blood flow easier.
  • Icing your balls- this works temporarily. It more just numbs the area rather than fixes the problem.
  • Exercise- running helps the blood flow return to normal as does lifting heavy weights.
  • Turn off your computer or run away from your gf- removing yourself from whatever is turning you on will work (you will ignore this).

So if you are a woman who loves denying guys orgasms or if you’re a guy looking to try out orgasm denial, now you know that for some guys its much more than just coping with the mental side of the denial, at least over the first few days. Sadists will relish in that fact, so don’t expect any sympathy. If you are a guy who doesn’t really get blue balls, go fuck yourself.

Infidelity Within Online Femdom

This post probably applies to all types of online D/s relationships but I need to at least try and keep this website true to its roots (online femdom), if only occasionally. Anyway, here’s my beef- what’s with all the cheating?  I’ve never cheated on a partner in real life, or online, and I’ve never even contemplated it. But the amount of submissive guys cheating on their wives or girlfriends with online Dommes is pretty astonishing.

When a Mistress is also a mistress

I asked a couple of people for their opinion regarding guys having relationships with online Dommes and I got some mixed responses. A lot of the arguments in favour of it made an awful lot of sense. This is the most prominent one:

If your wife doesn’t share your kinks, then having a relationship with an online Domme is a healthy way to vent these feelings without physically cheating on your partner. 

I think that is a very sensible approach. My problem with it is the deceit. If you had talked to your partner and agreed to this, then that’s awesome, you’ve found a good compromise. Otherwise I just don’t think it’s any different from cheating on her the old fashioned way. Obviously there is no actual sex but, from my understanding, the most hurtful part of finding out your partner is cheating on you is the lying. That is still present here, so you are hurting her just as much.

I don’t want this to be a long blog post, because with this subject you just start repeating yourself. I am totally against cheating on your partner with an online Domme, but I don’t claim to hold the only valid opinion, so please let me know what you think below.

 

I Love Financial Domination

I love financial domination. I bet they weren’t words you thought you’d ever hear from me, eh? But it’s true, financial domination greatly appeals to me. It’s a fetish that requires true submission. I would say that it is one of the ultimate forms of submission given the value placed on money in today’s society.

What financial domination means to me

A very extreme fetish

As I said above, I think findom is a very extreme fetish. I would even say it is bordering on edge play. Money is power. There is absolutely no denying that. This is why I would only go near this fetish in a long term proven relationship. I would also never ever base a relationship on the fetish and I recommend you don’t either. There is no trust otherwise and how can you possibly know that she isn’t just a gold digger.

A loving fetish

A lot of subs who are interested in this fetish appear to think very lowly of themselves. Some of the Dommes willing to take their money also seem to share this opinion of them. Which is evident by the very existence of the Twitter hashtag- #cashcunt. That hate and apathy towards financial subs really annoys me, as I believe the basis for any relationship should be about caring for each other. Giving somebody total control of your finances is a massive gift and I can’t comprehend those who don’t appreciate that.

Go big or go home

‘Tributing’ someone $100 isn’t financial domination. It’s just giving someone money and getting off on being ripped off and abused, which is fine. If I ever partake in this fetish, I will hand every single cent I own over. That’s what financial domination is to me. I will do that because I will trust this person explicitly not to run away with it or use the money irresponsibly.

It’s not about going without money

Just because I like financial domination, that doesn’t mean I want to be broke and live in abject poverty so that someone else can live off my paycheque. If someone expects you to do that for them, then they are not sane. I just don’t want to be in control of how the money is used.

You are probably seeing a pattern emerging here. This isn’t a fetish that I could just play about with, it is something that I could only consider with someone I trust 100%. Someone who isn’t selfish and just wants to go shopping for themselves. Basically, what I’m saying is, this is a fetish that I’ll reserve for my future wife.

Clarification

I wrote a post a few weeks ago called, “How to Get a Free Online Mistress” and retrospectively I think the title of the post was a little inaccurate. In fact, it was very inaccurate. The post was meant to be about finding a D/s relationship online but it was misconstrued by a few Pro Dommes as a guide on how to get free sessions, which was not my intent at all. I just wanted to clear that up.

Instadomme Trolling- She asked for it

First post in a while. Writers block to thank for that. This post is a little short lighthearted one for you. I’ll give you the premise. I am minding my business on twitter, when out of nowhere, a wild instadomme appears. She orders me to DM her. I know her game. I know she’s after my wallet. I decided to play along, and troll her.

Before you read the following DMs I highly recommend you play this tune at the same time, just to set the mood-

 

I hope you had a laugh at that. Here is the tweet she sent me, just incase you thought I was instigating etc…

So, please comment below and let me know if you thought it was funny. 

How To Find An Online Domme

I’m not talking about professional Dominatrixes in this post

Hey, you kinky bastard. You’ve been exploring your submissive side online for a while now haven’t you? You’ve watched clips, perhaps bought some. I know you’ve visited all the kinky sites that provide free content, such as milovana.com and ss.deviatenow.com. You’ve spent endless evenings just browsing before having a sad quickie with your hand, and now you’re ready to take your exploration to the next level and submit to a real woman.

“But Dan, they’re all just after money, they won’t domme me. Help!”

Well that’s not actually true. I can certainly empathise with you though, it does seem like everybody wants into your wallet, not your pants at first, but that’s only because you’re not putting in any effort.

Lets use plain old boring sex as an example, because everything seems simpler in vanilla terms. Say you wanted a little sex tonight. What would you do? Unless you are blessed with the genetics of a Norse God, standing in the street and shouting, “someone sleep with me” is going to return very poor results. So going into a BDSM community (or street if you like metaphors) and shouting “someone domme me, I’ll do whatever you say” isn’t going to be effective either, is it?

Why do some Dommes want money?

It’s Economics 101- supply and demand. They have something you want, and therefore there is a market to be exploited. It’s human nature. Accept it. For every 100 submissive men online, there is maybe 1 or 2 dominant women. If there wasn’t women charging for domination online, I’d be visiting Thailand, getting the op, and doing it myself!

“Ok Dan, I understand, you’re a genius. Where do I go from here?”

 What do you bring to the table?

Lets say you joined Twitter or some other platform that allows you to communicate with dominant women. You start sending out a few messages to people you like the look of. What is special about you? Especially on websites like Twitter there are so many men who just blend together. Eggs for avatars, limited to no biography, and they never tweet anything interesting at all. What on god’s green Earth makes you think that they’ll want to jump into a relationship with you?

5 Tips to Find An Online Domme

1) Stand out from the crowd

Be bold, let your personality shine through. Start conversations with people, compliment people (don’t be creepy!). Become friends, network, be funny, flirty and nice. Nobody likes a boring sub. You wouldn’t like a Domme who just said “do this, do that”, with no other communication, which brings us to…

2) Two way communication

You did it, you finally got a Domme to give you a shot. But as soon as things get kinky you become this boring ‘yes Mistress drone’ with nothing else to say. It has to be fun for her, in fact especially her- you’re the damn sub, make her happy! Making her happy makes you happy.

3) Stand up for yourself

Have you got a hard limit that you’re not willing to cross, then you actually, have a right to have that respected, believe it or not. If she isn’t willing to accept that, then you aren’t a match, move on, but try and stay friends. You can burn bridges with Dommes very quickly. They’re like a massive gang who has each others back, but don’t tell them I told you. Anyway, don’t accept being treated poorly, just because you think that’s what should happen. Your relationship will be better for it.

4) Accept its exactly the same as a vanilla relationship

Yep. 75% of the time you will just be chatting about boring run of the mill stuff that every other couple does. Don’t like it, go pro.

5) Keep fit & healthy

The BDSM community are generally one of the most accepting groups of people in the world. But still, if you are going to message the most attractive women you can find, she might not be attracted to your man titties. Hit the gym, eat some fruit. Your confidence will go through the roof (which happens when you get fit), which in itself makes you more attractive and you will find someone who likes you. I’m not saying get ripped (do if you can though), just stay healthy.

So there you have it. If you thought that just because you are willing to do whatever someone says, you will get some easy female attention, you were sadly mistaken. Work at it, be yourself, stand out, be nice and you will be MILES ahead of all the other wankers out there begging for some attention. Good luck, have fun and I hope you all find the online Domme you desire!

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